Tiddlywinks Drinking Songs

I'll add songs and verses when I get round to it.
OK - we've got

• Titfuck

and that's it I'm afraid... more later of course!

Titfuck!

This is a 'make it up as you go along' kind of song. I've made all these verses up because I don't know the originals!
I'll see if I can set up a form so that you - the viewer - can submit your own verses. It's your chance to be offensive and not care one toss. Forget all those boring forms where you aren't aloud to swear or mention taboo subjects - this is your chance for a sick and twisted form of creativity. Currently you'll have to mail me the verses so I can add them myself.
The meter/rhythm is something hard to explain, so I'll count you through the bars of the first verse, in 4/4 time.

|1  +       4 |1  +        |1 + 2 +   + 4 |1      |
 Toefuck,   oh toefuck,     T O E F   U C  K,       (repeat)

|1    2    3    4 |1     +   2 +     |
 Hold that knob be-tween your  toes,

|1  2   3     4  |1   + 2 3    |
 Up and down, and off it  goes!

(repeat 1st line)

So, here we go...

Toefuck, oh toefuck, T O E F U C K, (x2)
Hold that knob between your toes,
Up and down, and off it goes!
Toefuck, oh toefuck, T O E F U C K, (x2)

Fruitjob, oh fruitjob, F R U I T J O B (x2)
Take that banana from the bowl,
Squeeze it into that well lubed hole!
Fruitjob, oh fruitjob, F R U I T J O B (x2)

Eyefuck, oh eyefuck, E Y E F U C K (x2)
Some say that you just can't fuck it,
just pop the eyeball out of its socket.
Eyefuck, oh eyefuck, E Y E F U C K (x2)

Bulbjob, oh bulbjob, B U L B J O B (x2)
Choose wide onions, or long leeks,
Push them 'tween your buttock cheeks!
Bulbjob, oh bulbjob, B U L B J O B (x2)

Penfuck, oh penfuck, P E N F U C K (x2)
When you've got a modest prick,
Your man may prefer if you use a bic!
Penfuck, oh penfuck, P E N F U C K (x2)